roughest week ever.

so this week, holy crap. it has been the absolute epitomy of horridness. 
monday:


i get a text from my sisters girlfriend, yes my sister has a girlfriend. 
and it says " are you okay?!" 
of course im okay so i ask why?
"two sycamore kids got in a car accident"


Tim Getzelman and Lexi Weber. 


Emily Getzelman is a junior at the high school i go to. but shes not just a classmate, shes a friend. I didn't know what to do, my head was spinning. i felt so sad for her. and so sad for her family. What do you even do in a situation like that? i don't know.


Today, friday:
place: 3rd hour.
time: 10:05


"attention students, SHS has suffered a tragedy. A member of the senior class has died unexpectedly. Austin Clark passed last night without any notice. We are a family and we must stick together as a family. If you need counseling, there are couselors in the library"


*world freezes*


How come bad things happen to good people? how come he felt he had to take his own life to escape from this world? Could i have stopped it? all these things run through my head as i break down in front of my entire class.


i walk out


everyone in the library is sobbing. It was so hard to see my fellow shs classmates so distraught :( 


This week has just been rough... please keep my family, the clark family, the getzelman family, the weber family, and all the families in sycamore who are facing hardships<3




  

senior? what?!

so today it hit me. 
highschool is almost, over.
now i know im only a junior, and we still have 18 weeks left of this year and its going to go by so... SLOW. but today we had an assembly that talked to us about our senior classes. i had to write my schedule


sr comp & lit
Alg 2
earth science
adaptive pe
teach assist. 
painting 1
gov & consumer econ


holy cow. i can not believe thats it. i mean its an easy schedule i think but its my last one. ever. (for hs) 


im excited to do adaptive pe, and get to help the kids who cant really help themselves. im also really excited to teacher assist with the little kids :)


its just crazy to think that i'm almost done. soon im going to be on my own, in college, in the real world. its scary! i know im going to be okay, and i have lots of things to look forward to. but come on, ill be 18. thats old enough to vote for president! how crazy. (nobama)


im just in awe. 

Newly created.

im officially addicted to writing my feelings down. so this is a really happy blog. 


Today i went to girls group at church. and got to see how many people i brought to the group. we had 4 new girls which was totally awesome and encouraging to see. one of the girls sisters told me that her little sister was greatly impacted by me. it was so inspiring to hear. because lately ive been trying to be nice to everyone. 
im not too proud of my past, ive been rude to people and put people down. and so ive changed for the better. 
and just to hear that people are greatly impacted on the new me, is so exciting. its exciting that God is doing that for me. 
so thank you. 
<3- kristen - <3

Day 1, semester 2. *sigh*

The first day of the semester was today.

 *sigh*

 oh my goodness. every day i walk through those high school doors, i get more and more stressed. I showed the new kid around today :) although he really isn't that new since hes just from dekalb. He's very nice. i appreciate getting new people to our school who are really nice :) and he shows his appreciation for me taking him to school and stuff which made me really happy.

i like my study hall :) i'm going to make some new friends in there and its really a great thing for me. 

 This post is all over the place. im sorry.

so i learned a lesson today. that i've known for awhile but i REALLY learned how affective it is:

if you're nice to people. and take the time of day to just say hi to someone, or smile at them. you never know how much of an impact on their life you are going to have. i try to be nice to everyone. and it makes me happy when people tell me they appreciate me. because i try really hard. 

i sound pathetic.

im just, happy.

still confused

still stressed

still lonley (at times)

but, happy :)

<3 - kristen - <3 

So this blog is basically for me to be able to vent on life. and if you're that interested to see how everything is going with me, or just get to know me better, I guess it can be for your enjoyment as well. questions will be bolded, feel free to answer. 

            

The past few weeks have been nothing less than tough for me. I've been going through a ton of changes and my mind has been non-stop thinking, about everything. School, boys, my future, my religion. I've just been so, unbelievably stressed. 

School:

It all started when I got a D on my chem final. That was a smack in the face after studying hour after hour trying to understand what the heck i was doing. I thought i had it down. once i got the final, i froze. Does anyone else have that problem? where you get a test, you know the things, and then all the sudden, you just freeze up. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. Another thing is the people at school. i feel like i don't have many friends. i love the few friends i do have though and you know who you are. A lot of the people at syco high go out and party on the weekends, and i know i've been subject to failure in that area. i used to be one of them. Then God interceded into my life and now i want to stay as far away from that as possible. School just surrounds me with people who do things that i'm not interested in doing anymore. I still love all the people who party, i just don't want to do what they do. so please dont take offense to that.

Boys:

The topic on all girls minds. Boys. ohhh man i don't even know what to say about the guys... I know a few good guys. Who would do anything for their friends. They are so awesome. But i know a lot of guys who treat girls.. like crap. absolute garbage. For me, i have this guy that i've liked for awhile. No name will be stated. He is just so.. absolutely wonderful. He is the nicest person i've ever met, and we get along so well. He knows i exist, we are actually good friends. but it probably won't be anything more than friends. Which for me is hard, but i know that he is always going to be there as a friend. I'm also pretty sure he knows my feelings for him. if you have any advice for me, i'd love to hear it. i know God has someone out there for me, i'm just what you call impatient. plus i've tried to like other people. and it just doesn't happen. me = frustrated. 

My future:

Being a junior highschool STINKS. i'm ready to move on and go to college. I'm ready to meet my future husband. i'm ready to go to college, find a career. Become an art teacher and a youth pastor. i'm ready for all of it. but like stated above, i dont have patience. I want to go to niu because they have a great art education program. anyone else going there?

My Religion:

Most important part of my life is God. he's been working in my heart for the past year and oh my gosh how much i have grown. i know God has put me on this earth to lead people to him. He has introduced me to so many people that have taught me so much and will forever be in my heart.

my mom is dragging me to dinner, so im being rushed to get off this thing. <3

<3- kristen - <3